5am.

Dear blogger universe..

Leaving for work in 20 minutes or so. Need to go fetch second jug of coffee, so as to not let the sweet nectar go to waste.

(pause) Ok, that's done.

My to do list for this week is getting rather lengthy, and I think I'm alright with that. Ben and I made a pact of sorts between the two of us in regards to the next couple weeks. We're both trying to recover from a very (emotionally, financially, sanity-wise) challenging winter / start of the year. Hell, the last two and a half years of our life together.. which is simultaneously the FIRST two and a half years of our life together.. have been quite tumultuous. Like all things, I am sure it will mellow out in time, but in the meantime we are agreed that a major spring overhaul of our lives is in order. I feel OK about this.

Similarly, a discussion between he and I made it quite evident to me that my complete childlike refusal to do anything other than observe art (i.e. not make, interact with, explore) is, well, childlike. I'm considering making my return to art as public as possible, since I have been so silly for so many years about it. What happened in college is OVER. I am a FREE woman now. No one is looking over my shoulder anymore, constantly critiquing, criticizing. So I think I will invite the world to do just that. Strengthen my armor. It's been awhile since I've done that. It's getting kind of rusty.

After a prolonged period of whining about the schedule I'm on at work I've come to a few conclusions. 1) Yes, it does still KIND of suck 2) I have a newfound ability to sleep in short bursts, instead of requiring a full night to function. 3) I have a lot of time to listen to new music, which I'm usually rarely able to do. 4) I come home two nights a week at 5am. Which for the record, is a mere two hours before my FAVORITE time of day, which is 7am. (whoo, math!) I should be happy about this! When I was working 4am shifts I would always always miss this most beautiful and inspiring time of day. Although I guess it's more 6am-7am because of daylight savings time.. or maybe it isn't.. I don't know! But I could have those two hours to myself, since Ben is already asleep and the cats are usually off on their first laps around the house and don't need my lap/feet/chest to sleep on.

In short, what the hell is my problem?

In other news my family is waiting on baited breath for the newest addition to our family, my nephew Finnegan to be born. It's a very exciting time for my brother and his wife and their son, Braeden, and I can't wait. And if I know my family, we will overwhelm all of them with so much love and such a huge support network, that I hope the welcoming of #4 to their family will be as easy and comforting of a transition as possible.

Off to work now.